Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Letter 5 to rabbi Juda Mintz
The following letter was written to Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz from Mark, a Jewish inmate at the Fort Dix Penitentiary...
Juda,
You are an inspiration to me. Watching the quiet way you keep services in task, while adding so much by introducing us to new songs and new styles of the traditional prayers. Bringing singing into the services is, in my eyes, your greatest gift to us. To hear the group singing with your voice carrying the tunes.
You are willing to help and teach anyone, anywhere. Without a doubt, the Sunday we arrived for a Hebrew lesson to find our usual room filled with Muslims cleaning up after a breakfast meeting. Within a few moments of our arrival, you changed a tense atmosphere into one of peace and brotherhood. Using a quiet and unassuming way, you got them talking and the line from the "Grace After Meals", "May the Merciful One create brotherhood between the children of Issac and the children of Ishmael."
Weeks later I am still being called brother by Muslims who were there that Sunday morning.
I will always cherish the memory of our time together. My thoughts will be filled with lessons from the Torah studied with you and watching the way you interact with people.
Hashem blessed me with your presence in my life.
-George
Juda,
You are an inspiration to me. Watching the quiet way you keep services in task, while adding so much by introducing us to new songs and new styles of the traditional prayers. Bringing singing into the services is, in my eyes, your greatest gift to us. To hear the group singing with your voice carrying the tunes.
You are willing to help and teach anyone, anywhere. Without a doubt, the Sunday we arrived for a Hebrew lesson to find our usual room filled with Muslims cleaning up after a breakfast meeting. Within a few moments of our arrival, you changed a tense atmosphere into one of peace and brotherhood. Using a quiet and unassuming way, you got them talking and the line from the "Grace After Meals", "May the Merciful One create brotherhood between the children of Issac and the children of Ishmael."
Weeks later I am still being called brother by Muslims who were there that Sunday morning.
I will always cherish the memory of our time together. My thoughts will be filled with lessons from the Torah studied with you and watching the way you interact with people.
Hashem blessed me with your presence in my life.
-George
Letter 4 to Yehuda Mintz
The following letter was written to Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz from Richard, a Jewish inmate from Fort Dix Penitentiary...
Dear Juda,
As I am now preparing to leave this institution, before doing so I want to share some of my feelings with you regarding our relationship.
Although I have only known you for a relatively short period of time, you have made a profound impression on me and I am most grateful for having had the opportunity to make your acquaintance.
I'm certain that you have amassed an impressive list of achievements and have had a positive influence on the religious lives if many people throughout your many years as a pulpit rabbi. You are a very warm, candid and sincere person to whom people can easily relate and in whom people can easily trust. Unfortunately, I have no personal experience or knowledge of your pulpit achievements; I can only imagine how effective you were.
However, from what I've observed and learned about you in our brief period of acquaintance, I know that you are an exceptional individual. I consider it a personal honor to be able to say that I know you and consider you to be amongst my good friends. You have demonstrated some unique attributes that clearly differentiate you positively from others.
One of the things that impressed me most about you was your ability to communicate effectively with many diverse elements. You were not deterred by any pre-existing strife and managed to relate well with all elements. In an environment in which many people exhibit zeal and fanaticism, you stood out as the one who would tolerate all views and still maintain your sound religious convictions. At the time we first met, I myself had taken a firm position in this polarized community. However, soon thereafter, I realized the importance of tolerance and moderation. Your interpersonal skills are truly extraordinary!
I've also been most impressed with your leadership ability. Although you are not the dynamic politician who will stand on a soap box and rally people to a cause, you are very effective in getting things done and introducing innovative ideas. It's interesting to note that all diverse elements within the community have recognized and accepted your leadership. You've enriched our religious services with the introduction of more singing. More significantly, you've introduced a regular class (Ethics of the Fathers-Pirke Avot) which has been gaining an increasing following every week. This class is much more than an opportunity to sit together, learn and discuss topics. The subject matter deals directly with how we lead our lives. What are the behavior patterns and goals that we should strive for? What are the pitfalls to avoid? I can think of no discussions that are more important to this community then the above ethics. Yet, until you took the initiative, these discussions were non-existent here!
After your arrival here, people got to know you know you quickly. In a very short time you gained the trust and respect for others. This respect was not based on your prior achievements, but based on the type of person you are. I perceive you as the "mild mannered rabbi" who is understanding and compassionate to all yet still steadfast in your religious conviction and dedication to service others.
I take pride in stating that you were one of my friends here. I hope that our paths will cross again some day in the future. I pray that G-d grant you the strength and wisdom to succeed in any future endeavors. I know that you have the skills and dedication to bring any project to successful fruition.
Please never hesitate to call on me if I can help you in any way.
With deepest feelings of brotherhood,
Richard
A COPY OF THE LETTER BELOW...
Dear Juda,
As I am now preparing to leave this institution, before doing so I want to share some of my feelings with you regarding our relationship.
Although I have only known you for a relatively short period of time, you have made a profound impression on me and I am most grateful for having had the opportunity to make your acquaintance.
I'm certain that you have amassed an impressive list of achievements and have had a positive influence on the religious lives if many people throughout your many years as a pulpit rabbi. You are a very warm, candid and sincere person to whom people can easily relate and in whom people can easily trust. Unfortunately, I have no personal experience or knowledge of your pulpit achievements; I can only imagine how effective you were.
However, from what I've observed and learned about you in our brief period of acquaintance, I know that you are an exceptional individual. I consider it a personal honor to be able to say that I know you and consider you to be amongst my good friends. You have demonstrated some unique attributes that clearly differentiate you positively from others.
One of the things that impressed me most about you was your ability to communicate effectively with many diverse elements. You were not deterred by any pre-existing strife and managed to relate well with all elements. In an environment in which many people exhibit zeal and fanaticism, you stood out as the one who would tolerate all views and still maintain your sound religious convictions. At the time we first met, I myself had taken a firm position in this polarized community. However, soon thereafter, I realized the importance of tolerance and moderation. Your interpersonal skills are truly extraordinary!
I've also been most impressed with your leadership ability. Although you are not the dynamic politician who will stand on a soap box and rally people to a cause, you are very effective in getting things done and introducing innovative ideas. It's interesting to note that all diverse elements within the community have recognized and accepted your leadership. You've enriched our religious services with the introduction of more singing. More significantly, you've introduced a regular class (Ethics of the Fathers-Pirke Avot) which has been gaining an increasing following every week. This class is much more than an opportunity to sit together, learn and discuss topics. The subject matter deals directly with how we lead our lives. What are the behavior patterns and goals that we should strive for? What are the pitfalls to avoid? I can think of no discussions that are more important to this community then the above ethics. Yet, until you took the initiative, these discussions were non-existent here!
After your arrival here, people got to know you know you quickly. In a very short time you gained the trust and respect for others. This respect was not based on your prior achievements, but based on the type of person you are. I perceive you as the "mild mannered rabbi" who is understanding and compassionate to all yet still steadfast in your religious conviction and dedication to service others.
I take pride in stating that you were one of my friends here. I hope that our paths will cross again some day in the future. I pray that G-d grant you the strength and wisdom to succeed in any future endeavors. I know that you have the skills and dedication to bring any project to successful fruition.
Please never hesitate to call on me if I can help you in any way.
With deepest feelings of brotherhood,
Richard
A COPY OF THE LETTER BELOW...
Letter 3 to Juda Mintz
The following letter was written to Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz from Eli, a Jewish inmate at Fort Dix Penitentiary...
July 13, 2003
Dear Rabbi Mintz,
I hereby give you this letter, upon my departing the Federal Correction Facility at Fort Dix, New Jersey.
I cannot say nor elaborate in these few lines what my coming to know you means to me. Especially our nightly sessions of studying the famous works of "Duty of the Hearts".
I cannot say nor elaborate on your profound impact on the Jewish community here at Fort Dix. I was watching you in amazement, when in your weekly discourses and lectures, how you were able to relate to each and every inmate from such diverse backgrounds to find the proper approach to each individual.
May Hashem be with you, in all your future endeavors. One thing is for certain, just as a prophet is not allowed to withhold his prophecy, so you Rabbi Mintz are obliged to continue enlightening Jewish children for many years to come with G-D's help.
Your dear friend,
Eli
Letter 2 to Rabbi Yehuda Mintz
The following letter was written to Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz from a Jewish Inmate in the Fort Dix Federal Penitentiary...
Rabbi Juda Mintz,
Dear Rabbi,
In the short time that I have known you, I have felt blessed with your wisdom and companionship.
Throughout these difficult fourteen years behind bars, I have never had a close relationship with a teacher with such wisdom and the highest of knowledge. My hope is that Hashem will give you more and more wisdom, as falling rain may fall as a blessing upon those whom are thirsty and in need of this highest of water from heaven.
Life has shown me, in some very difficult ways, and sometimes in incomprehensible forms, that we must go ahead to discover that we can leap if we can walk.
It's true; the same sun which is here showing us his wonderful light, the same star that you will see no matter where you are. May this Radiant Marvel spill over your congregation, and may the Blessed One grant you welcome in the middle of Israel soon.
From deepest within me, is my wish the Lord will bless you and keep yours; may the Lord show his favor and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his kindness and grant you peace.
May your spirit and wisdom continue to sow the seeds of Love, and so may you harvest the food of hope which your community seeks. That the marvelous Tree of Knowledge continue extending its branches to the "Birds of Heaven" So that he may find shelter... That the "full moon" will cover your heart, and that every month becomes a promise of splendor and happiness.
Put Hashem and the blessing of His Angel before you to keep you safe and give you all his wonderful teaching . So that you may complete his wonderful teaching, so that you may complete your Radiant labor...
Hashem blessed you and all your new "herds" which is blessing with presence and great heart, that wonderful Tribe which will surely receive Milk and Honey as rain from the Highest...
May Hashem work marvelous wonders in your congregation and become like the Star of Israel.
Letter 1 to Rabbi Juda MIntz
The following letter was written to Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz from a Jewish Inmate at Fort Dix Federal Penitentiary....
To whom it may concern:
It has been an extreme pleasure knowing Rabbi Juda Mintz. I came to the Federal Correction Institution at Fort Dix, New Jersey as a first-time offender in November 2003. I was extremely frightened of the unknown and had a difficult time coping with thoughts of my impending incarceration. I am 54 years old, and until committing a crime two years ago I was a respected businessman and involved in civic affairs where I live. In addition, I was highly respected and very involved in my Synagogue serving as a member of the Board of Trustees for 12 years, a member of the Executive Committee as a vice president for 5 years and as treasurer for 3 years. I have always considered that being a Jew and being involved in Judaism is an important part of my life as well as my family's.
Shortly after my arrival at Fort Dix I began attending Shabbat services. It was there that I met Juda Mintz. Upon entering the room in the chapel where the services are held, not knowing anyone there, it was Juda who welcomed me with a big smile, a warm handshake and a heartily "Shabbat Shalom". As I soon realized, Juda was the official Chazan for this small group of Jewish inmates. What a blessing!
It is Juda who holds this group together. In every sense Juda has been our Rabbi. He has been eloquent in leading Friday night Shabbat services and Saturday Torah readings and study. His continuous commentary has been instructional as well as thought provoking. His constant interpretation of the psalms during Shabbat services has demonstrated his sensitivity and compassion for his "congregation". Juda has introduced different melodies for many prayers and songs, explaining their origins. As we sing, it is his voice that rises above the rest in leadership. His voice will be sorely missed but I will forever hear it in my head. Juda's leadership during Torah Study has been incomparable. He carefully has explained the weekly Parsha and provokes highly intelligent discussion on its interpretation and meaning. He has shared with us many other scholars' writings on each Parsha. Juda also stays after each weekly Torah study or meets a few of us on Sunday mornings to help with our Hebrew reading. I have found this has greatly expanded my ability to read Hebrew at Shabbat services and Torah study. Juda is a skilled and patient educator.
For me, the traits that most exemplifies Juda's skills as a Rabbi have been on a personal level. Juda has been kind and compassionate in helping me deal with this most difficult time in my life. He is a good listener and always puts a positive spin on how we must make the best of this terrible situation. He is quick to point to passages in the Torah which have helped me realize that life will be better once I have dealt with this punishment for my sins. Juda has helped me with gaining a better understanding that we all learn from our sins and will be better persons someday. He has given me the ability to help my family deal with this situation.
Personally, I will greatly miss Rabbi Juda Mintz, but am very happy he will be leaving here to continue on with a most productive life for himself. I would be honored to someday have Rabbi Mintz as the spiritual leader of my congregation. He is a scholar, an educator and has pastoral skills that exemplify his care and compassion for his congregation.
Very Truly Yours,
Steven
Letters From Fellow Jewish Inmates of Fort Dix Federal Penitentiary
The letters above are written by fellow inmates who I was privileged to meet while I was incarcerated at the Fort Dix Federal Penitentiary.
Somewhat in the manner of Joseph from the Bible (Torah), who was incarcerated, albeit for different reasons, I too was able to teach Torah, the basic tenets of Judaism and to conduct Shabbat services.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Addiction is a disease
The following article discusses addiction as a disease. This is an explanation not an excuse to "use".
Contrary to the opinion of many, addiction is not a matter of the "Yetzer Harah"(The evil inclination).
Yehuda/Juda Mintz
Contrary to the opinion of many, addiction is not a matter of the "Yetzer Harah"(The evil inclination).
Yehuda/Juda Mintz
The most important question there is about addiction
A response by Dr. Kevin McCauley, M.D. to the article posted on Slate.com, "Medical Misnomer: Addiction isn't a brain disease, Congress"
The question of whether or not addiction is really a disease is the most important question there is about addiction, and the reputation of addiction medicine rests upon its ability to provide a coherent answer. One of the major projects at our institute is to investigate the possibility of such an answer.
Her odd association with an ultra-conservative think thank (The American Enterprise Institute) notwithstanding, Dr. Satel’s monograph “Is Drug Addiction a Brain Disease?” is the best-articulated argument against the conceptualization of addiction as a disease (it can be found at http://www.eppc.org/publications/bookID.19/book_detail.asp). Likewise, Dr. Lillianfeld’s effort to expose semantic mistakes in psychology is commendable. However their views on addiction reveal fundamental mistakes regarding the nature of addiction and the experience of the addicted patient.
On the question of language, the authors claim that characterizing addiction as a brain disease appropriates language used to describe conditions such as multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia. Yes, and rightly so. Our modern concept of disease – the “Disease Model” – emerged from Germ Theory over a century ago, and evolved such that today it can be defined as a physical, cellular defect or lesion in a bodily organ or organ system that leads to the expression of signs and symptoms in the patient. This is a very rigorous standard for disease (it is also the standard demanded by Dr. Thomas Szasz, another opponent of the conceptualization of addiction as a disease).
For most of the last century, it has not been possible to fit addiction to this standard. That has changed. The organ involved in addiction is the limbic brain (specifically the ventral tegmentum and nucleus accumbens/extended amygdala). The defect is a stress-induced/genetically predisposed dysfunction of the limbic dopamine system (specifically a hedonic dysfunction – a broken “pleasure sense”). And the symptoms of greatest importance are 1) loss of control, 2) craving, and 3) persistent drug use despite negative consequences. Addiction meets the standard definition of disease better than multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia, two diseases whose pathophysiologies are far less elucidated. This is why medicine can claim, with confidence, that addiction is a disease.
On the question of personal agency and choice, the authors complain that calling addiction a “disease” undermines personal agency and our concept of free will. This is not, however, a problem with addiction. The standard definition of disease as it is used in medical practice today strips patients of their power of choice and hands that power to the doctor. In exchange, the patient gets to enter the sick role – a helpless, compliant role, and one relieved of responsibility. So the problem of addicts claiming that they have a disease and must be absolved of responsibility for their behavior is not a problem with addiction. It’s a problem with our standard definition of disease. Most of the authors’ trouble in calling addiction a disease stems not from whether or not addiction fits our standard definition of disease (it does), it stems from the problems inherent in the Disease Model itself.
As for choice, in addition to being a broken hedonic system in the brain, addiction is also a disorder of volition. Craving states cause a selective hypofunctionality of the prefrontal cortex. This is visible on neuroimaging scans such as functional MRI. The area of the brain of particular interest is the ventro-medial prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that assesses future consequences. It is hard to underestimate the importance of these findings. They imply that choice is a variable quantity during some brain disease states. The exciting opportunity here is to figure out how choice really works. How is it realized in the brain? What are the conditions under which it best operates? And how do we set those conditions so that addicted patients can exercise free will according to their true values?
The authors may be correct in their assertion that these neurological scans may not mean all that their proponents say they do. But they do mean something. At the very least, the activity visible on these scans correlates with conscious experiences such as craving. This evidence, while preliminary, cannot be ignored. Entire fields of scientific research are based on less.
On the question of stigma, the authors support the idea of considering addiction a moral failing. They believe the stigma against addicts is good, and that shame motivates people to stop using drugs. The correct answer here is “sort-of.” Stigma motivates drug and alcohol ABUSERS to get sober. When faced with the negative consequences of their drug use, the abuser can bring these negative consequences to bear on their decision-making. But stigma, or shame, or the threat of prison or death, will not work to change the behavior of addicts because the limbic brain equates drugs with survival at a very deep and unconscious level of brain processing. In light of this and the failure of the “consequence appreciating” areas of the cortex, the utility of stigma and punishment in the motivation of addicts is dubious. When craving kicks in, the drug comes first. The addict literally believes that the best way to stay out of jail is to get high (secure survival) now, and deal with the consequences later. This is the most fascinating and frustrating feature of addiction: negative consequences have no effect on the pattern of drug use. If you really are dealing with an addict, punishment doesn’t work.
As it stands in addiction medicine today, there is no way to tell the difference, not with definitive certainty, between the really bad drug abuser and the not so bad drug addict. The conflation of these two populations – abusers and addicts – creates much confusion. The promise of these neuroimaging scans is that they may someday be able to detect the minute differences in brain activity that differentiate the abuser from the actual addict.
In the meantime, we would do well to remember the long and painful history in medicine of labeling the behavior of people we didn’t like as “badness,” only later to learn something new about the way the brain or body works and realize that these behaviors were, in fact, symptoms – of a disease process. How do we know we are not making the same mistake again with addicts? The risk of being terribly wrong suggests caution. It is a strange specialty of medicine that uses shame as a therapeutic modality or stigmatizes patients to promote health. In fact, medicine’s contribution to the concept of justice lies in its ability to reveal the difference between those behaviors that are, in fact, symptoms, and those that are truly bad. Doctors cultivate an intuition – a “sixth sense” – that tells us: but for the disease process, the patient would not act this way. I get that feeling when I look at addicts.
Lastly, on the question of spiritual change the authors cite the experience of Jamie Lee Curtis as an example of how many addicts enter recovery. In Ms. Curtis’ case, she never went to treatment to get sober; rather she had a spiritual experience and relied solely on her attendance at A.A. meetings. But what got her sober? Was it the shame of some stigma or punishment hanging over her head (a stick)? Was it the reward of a promising career in film (a carrot)? Or was it the fact that she found something that was deeply, personally, emotionally meaningful - in her case, a relationship with God?
These deeply personally meaningful things – which will be individual to each person (“God as he/she understands Him”) – have the power to break the hold of craving. They are spiritual. They restore the function of the prefrontal cortex, and with it the addict’s power to choose meaningful things over drugs. The task of addiction treatment is to teach the addict stress coping tools to decrease their craving, while at the same time helping them find the one thing that is a little more meaningful (a little “higher in its power”) than drugs or alcohol. Or food, or sex, or gambling. A.A. does this nicely, but none of this comes to the patient overnight. Treatment that understands addiction as a disease can be indispensable as well.
So is addiction a disease? Yes. Do addicts need to take responsibility for managing their addiction? Certainly. But so do all patients. So do patients with multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia. The problem I have is in holding one group of patients more responsible than other groups of patients. Most people will take responsibility to the exact extent that they know how, or are supported. That is what good medicine is all about.
Kevin T. McCauley, M.D.
The Institute for Addiction Study
Park City, Utah
Her odd association with an ultra-conservative think thank (The American Enterprise Institute) notwithstanding, Dr. Satel’s monograph “Is Drug Addiction a Brain Disease?” is the best-articulated argument against the conceptualization of addiction as a disease (it can be found at http://www.eppc.org/publications/bookID.19/book_detail.asp). Likewise, Dr. Lillianfeld’s effort to expose semantic mistakes in psychology is commendable. However their views on addiction reveal fundamental mistakes regarding the nature of addiction and the experience of the addicted patient.
On the question of language, the authors claim that characterizing addiction as a brain disease appropriates language used to describe conditions such as multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia. Yes, and rightly so. Our modern concept of disease – the “Disease Model” – emerged from Germ Theory over a century ago, and evolved such that today it can be defined as a physical, cellular defect or lesion in a bodily organ or organ system that leads to the expression of signs and symptoms in the patient. This is a very rigorous standard for disease (it is also the standard demanded by Dr. Thomas Szasz, another opponent of the conceptualization of addiction as a disease).
For most of the last century, it has not been possible to fit addiction to this standard. That has changed. The organ involved in addiction is the limbic brain (specifically the ventral tegmentum and nucleus accumbens/extended amygdala). The defect is a stress-induced/genetically predisposed dysfunction of the limbic dopamine system (specifically a hedonic dysfunction – a broken “pleasure sense”). And the symptoms of greatest importance are 1) loss of control, 2) craving, and 3) persistent drug use despite negative consequences. Addiction meets the standard definition of disease better than multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia, two diseases whose pathophysiologies are far less elucidated. This is why medicine can claim, with confidence, that addiction is a disease.
On the question of personal agency and choice, the authors complain that calling addiction a “disease” undermines personal agency and our concept of free will. This is not, however, a problem with addiction. The standard definition of disease as it is used in medical practice today strips patients of their power of choice and hands that power to the doctor. In exchange, the patient gets to enter the sick role – a helpless, compliant role, and one relieved of responsibility. So the problem of addicts claiming that they have a disease and must be absolved of responsibility for their behavior is not a problem with addiction. It’s a problem with our standard definition of disease. Most of the authors’ trouble in calling addiction a disease stems not from whether or not addiction fits our standard definition of disease (it does), it stems from the problems inherent in the Disease Model itself.
As for choice, in addition to being a broken hedonic system in the brain, addiction is also a disorder of volition. Craving states cause a selective hypofunctionality of the prefrontal cortex. This is visible on neuroimaging scans such as functional MRI. The area of the brain of particular interest is the ventro-medial prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that assesses future consequences. It is hard to underestimate the importance of these findings. They imply that choice is a variable quantity during some brain disease states. The exciting opportunity here is to figure out how choice really works. How is it realized in the brain? What are the conditions under which it best operates? And how do we set those conditions so that addicted patients can exercise free will according to their true values?
The authors may be correct in their assertion that these neurological scans may not mean all that their proponents say they do. But they do mean something. At the very least, the activity visible on these scans correlates with conscious experiences such as craving. This evidence, while preliminary, cannot be ignored. Entire fields of scientific research are based on less.
On the question of stigma, the authors support the idea of considering addiction a moral failing. They believe the stigma against addicts is good, and that shame motivates people to stop using drugs. The correct answer here is “sort-of.” Stigma motivates drug and alcohol ABUSERS to get sober. When faced with the negative consequences of their drug use, the abuser can bring these negative consequences to bear on their decision-making. But stigma, or shame, or the threat of prison or death, will not work to change the behavior of addicts because the limbic brain equates drugs with survival at a very deep and unconscious level of brain processing. In light of this and the failure of the “consequence appreciating” areas of the cortex, the utility of stigma and punishment in the motivation of addicts is dubious. When craving kicks in, the drug comes first. The addict literally believes that the best way to stay out of jail is to get high (secure survival) now, and deal with the consequences later. This is the most fascinating and frustrating feature of addiction: negative consequences have no effect on the pattern of drug use. If you really are dealing with an addict, punishment doesn’t work.
As it stands in addiction medicine today, there is no way to tell the difference, not with definitive certainty, between the really bad drug abuser and the not so bad drug addict. The conflation of these two populations – abusers and addicts – creates much confusion. The promise of these neuroimaging scans is that they may someday be able to detect the minute differences in brain activity that differentiate the abuser from the actual addict.
In the meantime, we would do well to remember the long and painful history in medicine of labeling the behavior of people we didn’t like as “badness,” only later to learn something new about the way the brain or body works and realize that these behaviors were, in fact, symptoms – of a disease process. How do we know we are not making the same mistake again with addicts? The risk of being terribly wrong suggests caution. It is a strange specialty of medicine that uses shame as a therapeutic modality or stigmatizes patients to promote health. In fact, medicine’s contribution to the concept of justice lies in its ability to reveal the difference between those behaviors that are, in fact, symptoms, and those that are truly bad. Doctors cultivate an intuition – a “sixth sense” – that tells us: but for the disease process, the patient would not act this way. I get that feeling when I look at addicts.
Lastly, on the question of spiritual change the authors cite the experience of Jamie Lee Curtis as an example of how many addicts enter recovery. In Ms. Curtis’ case, she never went to treatment to get sober; rather she had a spiritual experience and relied solely on her attendance at A.A. meetings. But what got her sober? Was it the shame of some stigma or punishment hanging over her head (a stick)? Was it the reward of a promising career in film (a carrot)? Or was it the fact that she found something that was deeply, personally, emotionally meaningful - in her case, a relationship with God?
These deeply personally meaningful things – which will be individual to each person (“God as he/she understands Him”) – have the power to break the hold of craving. They are spiritual. They restore the function of the prefrontal cortex, and with it the addict’s power to choose meaningful things over drugs. The task of addiction treatment is to teach the addict stress coping tools to decrease their craving, while at the same time helping them find the one thing that is a little more meaningful (a little “higher in its power”) than drugs or alcohol. Or food, or sex, or gambling. A.A. does this nicely, but none of this comes to the patient overnight. Treatment that understands addiction as a disease can be indispensable as well.
So is addiction a disease? Yes. Do addicts need to take responsibility for managing their addiction? Certainly. But so do all patients. So do patients with multiple sclerosis and schizophrenia. The problem I have is in holding one group of patients more responsible than other groups of patients. Most people will take responsibility to the exact extent that they know how, or are supported. That is what good medicine is all about.
Kevin T. McCauley, M.D.
The Institute for Addiction Study
Park City, Utah
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways
Last Thursday night, a little less than a week before Rosh Hashana (our Jewish New Year), I received an email from Gina. (Read Below)
I spent a rather restless/sleepless night contemplating the content of her email. I share this with you including my response.
It is over eleven years now during which time I was involved with the legal ramifications of my behavior. It is and was important to read of Gina's pain and "disgust" with regard to her former rabbi; me.
I am cogniscent of the ramifications that took place then and obviously that is still carried today.
Tshuvah is not living with remorse for what was. Rather Tshuvah is defined by "doing the next right thing". I strive to do the "next right thing".
Judaism teaches that God forgave the people of Israel for worshipping the Golden Calf by presenting the Israelites with the gift of his Thirteen Attributes of Mercy". God forgave and forgives us for our errors in judgment (our sins). It is up to us to forgive ourselves. It is incumbent upon us to receive the Tshuvah of others and thus to offer them our forgiveness.
I believe that it is impossible to "forgive and forget:" We humans do not have a delete mechanism. We can however learn to forgive both ourselves and others in the spirit by which God forgives each of us.
PLEASE READ GINA'S EMAIL TO ME AND MY RESPONSE TO HER BELOW-
Rabbi,
I spent a rather restless/sleepless night contemplating the content of her email. I share this with you including my response.
It is over eleven years now during which time I was involved with the legal ramifications of my behavior. It is and was important to read of Gina's pain and "disgust" with regard to her former rabbi; me.
I am cogniscent of the ramifications that took place then and obviously that is still carried today.
Tshuvah is not living with remorse for what was. Rather Tshuvah is defined by "doing the next right thing". I strive to do the "next right thing".
Judaism teaches that God forgave the people of Israel for worshipping the Golden Calf by presenting the Israelites with the gift of his Thirteen Attributes of Mercy". God forgave and forgives us for our errors in judgment (our sins). It is up to us to forgive ourselves. It is incumbent upon us to receive the Tshuvah of others and thus to offer them our forgiveness.
I believe that it is impossible to "forgive and forget:" We humans do not have a delete mechanism. We can however learn to forgive both ourselves and others in the spirit by which God forgives each of us.
PLEASE READ GINA'S EMAIL TO ME AND MY RESPONSE TO HER BELOW-
Rabbi,
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Testimonial 13- to Yehuda Mintz
To whom it may concern,
I am pleased to write in support of Rabbi Juda Mintz whom you are considering for the position of Senior Rabbi of your Congregation.
Rabbi Mintz has been gone from our university campus for a number of years now, but those of us who have worked with him will never forget his simply extraordinary energy and vision, and his marvelous spirit which led to not only great success but also to great affection. That's a unique combination-drive and pastoral sympathy.
We have never had comparable leadership at Hillel here on campus since he left. At that time, he was far and away the most outstanding leader in the religious community on our campus. While I have not had direct knowledge of his achievments in his Congregation, I have heard of its growth and strength under his leadership.
Personally, he is a delight to work with. He does what he says he will do, which points both to his determination and his dedication. He has character and embodies the qualities that win the respect of the larger community.
As you can see, I am very high on him and recommend him to you wholeheartedly.
Sincerely,
President of the university
I am pleased to write in support of Rabbi Juda Mintz whom you are considering for the position of Senior Rabbi of your Congregation.
Rabbi Mintz has been gone from our university campus for a number of years now, but those of us who have worked with him will never forget his simply extraordinary energy and vision, and his marvelous spirit which led to not only great success but also to great affection. That's a unique combination-drive and pastoral sympathy.
We have never had comparable leadership at Hillel here on campus since he left. At that time, he was far and away the most outstanding leader in the religious community on our campus. While I have not had direct knowledge of his achievments in his Congregation, I have heard of its growth and strength under his leadership.
Personally, he is a delight to work with. He does what he says he will do, which points both to his determination and his dedication. He has character and embodies the qualities that win the respect of the larger community.
As you can see, I am very high on him and recommend him to you wholeheartedly.
Sincerely,
President of the university
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Testimonial 12- to Juda Mintz
I want to wish you and your congregation , together with Rabbi Mintz and his family, a sincere Mazel Tov on Rabbi Mintz's installation as rabbi of your community.
Rabbi Mintz has been my dear friend for many years, befriending me when I first arrived in Atlanta. His rabbinate here was a distinguished one. He helped to create the setting and then part of the structure for the tremendous growth in Jewish life that our city has experienced.
First as rabbi of Hillel on campus, he built almost from scratch, that organization into one of the most vibrant centers of Jewish life for young people in our area. Later, as founding Rabbi of a Congregation. He helped nurture that community into the wonderful center of Jewish study and observance it has become.
As a dear friend, I will miss his wonderful face to face friendship, openness and treasured advice. (Thank G-d there are telephones and e-mail). This city will miss his rabbinic presence which raised all of us because it was here.
I know that the love he brings to his calling, the sincere belief with which he stands for all things Jewish, his capacity for hard work and his vision, will be a blessing to all off you, as he has been to all of us.
May G-d bless him, his family and all of you, as together you continue to create and vivify the jewish hope and dream, which has been, since the beginning of written history, G-d's promise and the crown of our existence.
Sincerely,
Rabbi .....
Testimonial 10- to Rabbi Juda Mintz
To whom it may concern,
Duing the past four years, Rabbi Juda Mintz has served as one of the Rabbis, spiritual leaders and guides for our congregation. He is a Rabbi and teacher of distinction, a role model, respected for his knowledge , his leadership and his humilty.
Rabbi Mintz has always delivered inspirational sermons that were emotionally engaging, informative, educational and provided us with models for living in accordance with jewish laws and traditions.
Because our congregation consists of an aging population, our congregants have had a special set of challenges. Rabbi Mintz responded to these challenges ands was always available and open to the spiritual and emotional needs of the congregants.
His extensive experience and knowledge has been invaluable to us in our daily operations. The Rabbi's combination of talent and superior aptitude along with his willingness to lead can provide exemplary results for any congregation.
In addition to his outstanding qualifications, Rabbi Mintz has developed extensive knowledge in the area of ritual needs and programming. His driving force will surely result in invaluable growth and success for your congregation.
Sincerely,
President of the Congregation
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Testimonial 4 - to Yehuda Mintz
From a rabbi, Jewish educator director of a Jewish organization. Father of 5 children.
Hi Rabbi Mintz,
I wanted to thank you for the incredible help today. When you graciously share the details of your own story, I am moved for the following reason. When one is able to reflect upon the seemingly bleak, almost hopeless circumstances and then articulate the incredible details of how Hashem harnessed all of these cosmic forces to extricate you from your dark place, it is for me both humbling and inspiring.
As I said to you today, after listening to your own story, I am then able to reflect with a little more clarity on my own situation. How much of heaven and earth had and has been moved on my and my families behalf to overcome my own seemingly insurmountable obstacles?
Then I realize that by choosing to anesthetize myself, I am ungratefully turning my back on all these life altering acts of chesed that I have received. the height of ingratitude.
My challenge is to continously embrace these ongoing loving acts of intervention, not numb myself to them. Easier said then done, but a start.
I am most grateful for your sincere concern for me. This loving concern emanates from the soul which is why you were able to transcend space and time to be there for me today at the exact moment I needed help.
When I saw your text message come in my first thought was to ignore it until after I anesthetized myself. However, I realized I had to do my part and the very least, call you back; it was not easy to do as you will see.
Even while speaking to you on the phone today, I was still heading to my original destination. I had made up my mind. Just before your message came, I had written the directions and address on a business card with the exact location. I could not find it. I looked all over: the front seat, my wallet. I could not find it, but, nonetheless, continued speaking to you while I decided to drive away from the area and head back home.
When I got home and got out of my car, the business card with the address written on the back fell right off my lap onto the ground. It was right in front of me the entire time.
Did your friend Malach Gavriel have his right hand over my eyes while I searched in vain? I don't know. I would like to think a Malach has more important things to do that to keep me out of trouble.
Or, perhaps you, Rabbi Mintz, had your hands over my eyes.
Thank you again.
Hi Rabbi Mintz,
I wanted to thank you for the incredible help today. When you graciously share the details of your own story, I am moved for the following reason. When one is able to reflect upon the seemingly bleak, almost hopeless circumstances and then articulate the incredible details of how Hashem harnessed all of these cosmic forces to extricate you from your dark place, it is for me both humbling and inspiring.
As I said to you today, after listening to your own story, I am then able to reflect with a little more clarity on my own situation. How much of heaven and earth had and has been moved on my and my families behalf to overcome my own seemingly insurmountable obstacles?
Then I realize that by choosing to anesthetize myself, I am ungratefully turning my back on all these life altering acts of chesed that I have received. the height of ingratitude.
My challenge is to continously embrace these ongoing loving acts of intervention, not numb myself to them. Easier said then done, but a start.
I am most grateful for your sincere concern for me. This loving concern emanates from the soul which is why you were able to transcend space and time to be there for me today at the exact moment I needed help.
When I saw your text message come in my first thought was to ignore it until after I anesthetized myself. However, I realized I had to do my part and the very least, call you back; it was not easy to do as you will see.
Even while speaking to you on the phone today, I was still heading to my original destination. I had made up my mind. Just before your message came, I had written the directions and address on a business card with the exact location. I could not find it. I looked all over: the front seat, my wallet. I could not find it, but, nonetheless, continued speaking to you while I decided to drive away from the area and head back home.
When I got home and got out of my car, the business card with the address written on the back fell right off my lap onto the ground. It was right in front of me the entire time.
Did your friend Malach Gavriel have his right hand over my eyes while I searched in vain? I don't know. I would like to think a Malach has more important things to do that to keep me out of trouble.
Or, perhaps you, Rabbi Mintz, had your hands over my eyes.
Thank you again.
Testimonial 3- to Juda Mintz
From a rabbi and Jewish educator. Father of 7 children.
Dear Rabbi Mintz,
It's now about 9 months since we got acquainted and I would like to show you a bit how my life progressed since then and now and to thank you for your part in it.
Around Chanukah time I was feeling overwhelmed by my phone-sex addiction and could find no way out. Even accepting the fact that I was helpless and alone wasn't helping me. I didn't feel there was anyone who could guide me out of it; being tat I had tried before with help yet I was still out of control.
Then I saw your ad about a 12-step program with regard to internet addiction with the assurance of anonymity and figured I'd give it a try.
From our first phone call I knew I had come to the right place. You were able to relate to me and my problem in such a clear and simple way. Knowing that there were others who suffered as I did yet were able to get help, inspired me to try and get help as well. Your use of Torah concepts and your expressions in both Yiddish and Hebrew served as an extra bonus for me; You as a Ben Torah and me as a Rebbe in Yeshiva, I couldn't wait for the real phone appointment.
Once we started, it became clear that the road to recovery was "simple but not easy"! But with you "holding my hand", available 24-7, if need be, I was ready to try to embark upon the road of recovery.
I called you when the going got tough- when "the monster reared its ugly head";I called you when I began smoking again in order to find a substitute for the phone-sex addiction; I called you when I knew that "tommorow" I was going "to use". Yet, you were never flustered. You calmed me, coached me out of each mess and praised me without being presumptious over each battle won. You helped me succeed "one day at a time'.
It was after just 3-4 months when I felt confident in my progress: enough, that I was able to draw a map of how my future might look-free of the addiction. It depicted the serenity that would be mine and the new repsonsibilities that I would be able to undertake, with the knowledge that I wouldn't be suffering a spiritual, emotional and physical setback every few days or weeks. Indeed, in the following months I was able to be out of this situation. I quit smoking (5 months clean, my davening and learning have improved, my marriage is on a major up- my wife is happier with me than she had been in many years, my addiciton is in remission now for 23 weeks!, substantially breaking my previous record of sobriety. I am presently working on other areas of my life, my Avodas Hashem with great success, b'chasdey Hashem.
I switched my job for the coming year and have begun working on a new major project for my future career. My children feel the change in me and have been much more loving towards me.
Who would have imagined the degree of damage my addiction caused and the great amount of good I was able to obtain with it now out of the way; I for one could not, but I am presently reveling in the progress of my sobriety.
I want to thank you Rabbi Mintz. Obviouslyl, you are the Shaliach of Hashem to make things happen for me and you carried out your Shlichut wonderfully. You're Chelek in Olam H'Ba is gaurenteed on account of the help that you have given me and the many people you've helped heal- myself most especially.
And now I want to try it on my own. Next week will be our last official meeting for a while. I hope I may drop you a quick line from time to time.
May you continue to have Hatzlacha helping others and may you have a Kativa v' Hatima Tovah.
Very Gratefully yours,
Code #1818
Dear Rabbi Mintz,
It's now about 9 months since we got acquainted and I would like to show you a bit how my life progressed since then and now and to thank you for your part in it.
Around Chanukah time I was feeling overwhelmed by my phone-sex addiction and could find no way out. Even accepting the fact that I was helpless and alone wasn't helping me. I didn't feel there was anyone who could guide me out of it; being tat I had tried before with help yet I was still out of control.
Then I saw your ad about a 12-step program with regard to internet addiction with the assurance of anonymity and figured I'd give it a try.
From our first phone call I knew I had come to the right place. You were able to relate to me and my problem in such a clear and simple way. Knowing that there were others who suffered as I did yet were able to get help, inspired me to try and get help as well. Your use of Torah concepts and your expressions in both Yiddish and Hebrew served as an extra bonus for me; You as a Ben Torah and me as a Rebbe in Yeshiva, I couldn't wait for the real phone appointment.
Once we started, it became clear that the road to recovery was "simple but not easy"! But with you "holding my hand", available 24-7, if need be, I was ready to try to embark upon the road of recovery.
I called you when the going got tough- when "the monster reared its ugly head";I called you when I began smoking again in order to find a substitute for the phone-sex addiction; I called you when I knew that "tommorow" I was going "to use". Yet, you were never flustered. You calmed me, coached me out of each mess and praised me without being presumptious over each battle won. You helped me succeed "one day at a time'.
It was after just 3-4 months when I felt confident in my progress: enough, that I was able to draw a map of how my future might look-free of the addiction. It depicted the serenity that would be mine and the new repsonsibilities that I would be able to undertake, with the knowledge that I wouldn't be suffering a spiritual, emotional and physical setback every few days or weeks. Indeed, in the following months I was able to be out of this situation. I quit smoking (5 months clean, my davening and learning have improved, my marriage is on a major up- my wife is happier with me than she had been in many years, my addiciton is in remission now for 23 weeks!, substantially breaking my previous record of sobriety. I am presently working on other areas of my life, my Avodas Hashem with great success, b'chasdey Hashem.
I switched my job for the coming year and have begun working on a new major project for my future career. My children feel the change in me and have been much more loving towards me.
Who would have imagined the degree of damage my addiction caused and the great amount of good I was able to obtain with it now out of the way; I for one could not, but I am presently reveling in the progress of my sobriety.
I want to thank you Rabbi Mintz. Obviouslyl, you are the Shaliach of Hashem to make things happen for me and you carried out your Shlichut wonderfully. You're Chelek in Olam H'Ba is gaurenteed on account of the help that you have given me and the many people you've helped heal- myself most especially.
And now I want to try it on my own. Next week will be our last official meeting for a while. I hope I may drop you a quick line from time to time.
May you continue to have Hatzlacha helping others and may you have a Kativa v' Hatima Tovah.
Very Gratefully yours,
Code #1818
Testimonial 2- to Rabbi Yehuda Mintz
From a client who is a rabbi, and head of a Kiruv (Jewish outreach program). Father of 4 children.
Rabbi Yehuda Mintz saved my life and he doesn't even know my name!
I was a married middle aged Ben Torah working in Klei Kodesh seemingly living an idyllic Torah lifestyle. However I had a major challenge that plagued me day and night. Every two weeks or so I was attached by cravings to act out and no matter what I tried I could not fight these cravings.
I fought for 21 years! (from 16-37)
I begged 2 of my rabbaim in Yeshiva for help.
I reached out to 2 well known Torah leaders.
I tried smoking cigerettes to change my cravings to a "kosher" outlet.
I had a psychologist prescribe calming medications.
I bought a DVD player so I could watch Kosher movies to calm myself.
I made many nedarim and shevous.
Out of desperation I reached out to my wife for help.
Nothing worked...
Sure I had some good months and bad months, sometimes even going 2-4 months at a time with out acting out, however my issue was always on my mind ready to pounce and it always won out no matter what I tried.
One day I saw an ad in Misphacha magazine that encouraged those with internet addictions to give him a call and see if he could help. Rabbi Mintz explained that what I had was an addiciton and he gave me the tools to overcome it.
This was a bout a year ago.
I feel as if I have awoken from a nightmare.
I can live life again.
I now have a real relationship with my wife, with my kids and with society.
Rabbi Mintz taught me how to have a real relationship with Hashem.
I'm sure that there are many yidden out there like I was who are caught in the vicious cycle of addiction. Please help Rabbi Mintz get the word out that there is a tried and true way to stop. That way is through a relationship with Hashem. Allow Rabbi Mintz to share with them the secret.
-From a very grateful sober husband, father, son and member of the Yeshiva world
Rabbi Yehuda Mintz saved my life and he doesn't even know my name!
I was a married middle aged Ben Torah working in Klei Kodesh seemingly living an idyllic Torah lifestyle. However I had a major challenge that plagued me day and night. Every two weeks or so I was attached by cravings to act out and no matter what I tried I could not fight these cravings.
I fought for 21 years! (from 16-37)
I begged 2 of my rabbaim in Yeshiva for help.
I reached out to 2 well known Torah leaders.
I tried smoking cigerettes to change my cravings to a "kosher" outlet.
I had a psychologist prescribe calming medications.
I bought a DVD player so I could watch Kosher movies to calm myself.
I made many nedarim and shevous.
Out of desperation I reached out to my wife for help.
Nothing worked...
Sure I had some good months and bad months, sometimes even going 2-4 months at a time with out acting out, however my issue was always on my mind ready to pounce and it always won out no matter what I tried.
One day I saw an ad in Misphacha magazine that encouraged those with internet addictions to give him a call and see if he could help. Rabbi Mintz explained that what I had was an addiciton and he gave me the tools to overcome it.
This was a bout a year ago.
I feel as if I have awoken from a nightmare.
I can live life again.
I now have a real relationship with my wife, with my kids and with society.
Rabbi Mintz taught me how to have a real relationship with Hashem.
I'm sure that there are many yidden out there like I was who are caught in the vicious cycle of addiction. Please help Rabbi Mintz get the word out that there is a tried and true way to stop. That way is through a relationship with Hashem. Allow Rabbi Mintz to share with them the secret.
-From a very grateful sober husband, father, son and member of the Yeshiva world
Testimonial 1- to Rabbi Juda Mintz
- From a rabbi, prominent head of Kiruv movement (Jewish outreach). Father of 7 children.
Dear Reb Yehuda,
I have experienced a personal Yetzias Mitrayim and am now marching step by step on a journey of a new life.
It is s journey of a new life toward my true self. That's what Teshuva is all about.
My therapist saw my struggles and gave me your ad from Bina magazine. I called and felt comfortable and that you could understand and relate. You show genuine care. intimate understanding of additction, no judgment, and gentle guidance and encouragment.
Your support and guidance were an important part in the network of Hashem's plan to help me.
Yours is a resource that must be utilized to its fullest capacity.
May H' bless you to utilize all your talents and life experiences to help others in their desperation, pull them out and bring about more and more redemption.
With true gratitude,
Beneficiary 12-18.
Dear Reb Yehuda,
I have experienced a personal Yetzias Mitrayim and am now marching step by step on a journey of a new life.
It is s journey of a new life toward my true self. That's what Teshuva is all about.
My therapist saw my struggles and gave me your ad from Bina magazine. I called and felt comfortable and that you could understand and relate. You show genuine care. intimate understanding of additction, no judgment, and gentle guidance and encouragment.
Your support and guidance were an important part in the network of Hashem's plan to help me.
Yours is a resource that must be utilized to its fullest capacity.
May H' bless you to utilize all your talents and life experiences to help others in their desperation, pull them out and bring about more and more redemption.
With true gratitude,
Beneficiary 12-18.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Why My Blog?
This is new to me. I am far from computer savvy. Ironically, it is the computer that brought me into the world of addiction recovery. It is the computer that dramatically changed my life and it is the computer that introduced me to my present wife.
I was addicted to pornography on the computer. Addiction is a progressive disease. In fairly short order, I was "hooked", I was addicted. On one occasion, 8 thumbnail images appeared on my screen. Cuiously, I opened four of them. Unbeknownst to me of the content, they were images of children; child pornography. Stunned by what I saw, I immediatley deleted the four images and the four other thumbnails.
By the grace of God, just at that time, my computer froze. I was then Rabbi of a synagogue that I began serving 18 months earlier. I asked a member of the congregation who was savvy in computer technology to see if he could remedy the computer malfunction. He agreed, and waited until my day off so that he would not disturb me. He thought it might be a virus and thus went into the hardrive. He then discovered the pornography that I was viewing including the last 4 images of child pornography.
This was in the year 2000, when the issue of pedophilia within the Catholic Church was raging in the news media.
The elders of the congregation made the decision to turn the hardrive over to the FBI in order to protect the synagogue from any possible lawsuits.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation chose to prosecute me on the charge of possession of child pornography. Viewing images on one's computer, is in the eyes of the Federal government, considered "possession". The maximum penalty is a fine of $250,000.00 and five years imprisonment.
I immediately went into a program of 12 step recovery with SA, Sexaholics Anonymous. I attended a minimum of five meetings a week. 4 months later, I entered Keystone Sexual Recovery Facility in Pennsylvania.
As my case proceeded within the Federal court system, I moved to Los Angeles, California and was a resident of Beit T'Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center for a period of 14 months.
I entered a plea of guilty and was sentenced to one year and one day in the Federal Penitentiary of Fort Dix, New Jersey.
Upon my release, I returned to the Beit T' Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center and served on their Rabbinic staff.
In September of 2007, I started Recovery Through Torah. This is a counseling service for members of the Jewish community who are reluctant to join a 12 step community. All counseling is done anonymously by phone. Most of my waking hours are presently spent counseling/encouraging individuals with the teachings of 12 step recovery in addition to the teachings of Judaism.
My sobriety date, by the grace of God, is September 10th, 2000; "One day at a time". I have devoted my life to sharing the promise and hope of recovery to my sisters and brothers who are still out there suffering. The web site is http://www.recoverythroughtorah.com/
My ulterior motive in starting this blog is to share my truth and to respond to the many lies and distortions that are found under my name on the internet. In a sense, the letters and articles that will appear in this blog read almost as if they were my obituaries: Instead, they describe the life that I have been privileged to live thus far.
-Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz
I was addicted to pornography on the computer. Addiction is a progressive disease. In fairly short order, I was "hooked", I was addicted. On one occasion, 8 thumbnail images appeared on my screen. Cuiously, I opened four of them. Unbeknownst to me of the content, they were images of children; child pornography. Stunned by what I saw, I immediatley deleted the four images and the four other thumbnails.
By the grace of God, just at that time, my computer froze. I was then Rabbi of a synagogue that I began serving 18 months earlier. I asked a member of the congregation who was savvy in computer technology to see if he could remedy the computer malfunction. He agreed, and waited until my day off so that he would not disturb me. He thought it might be a virus and thus went into the hardrive. He then discovered the pornography that I was viewing including the last 4 images of child pornography.
This was in the year 2000, when the issue of pedophilia within the Catholic Church was raging in the news media.
The elders of the congregation made the decision to turn the hardrive over to the FBI in order to protect the synagogue from any possible lawsuits.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation chose to prosecute me on the charge of possession of child pornography. Viewing images on one's computer, is in the eyes of the Federal government, considered "possession". The maximum penalty is a fine of $250,000.00 and five years imprisonment.
I immediately went into a program of 12 step recovery with SA, Sexaholics Anonymous. I attended a minimum of five meetings a week. 4 months later, I entered Keystone Sexual Recovery Facility in Pennsylvania.
As my case proceeded within the Federal court system, I moved to Los Angeles, California and was a resident of Beit T'Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center for a period of 14 months.
I entered a plea of guilty and was sentenced to one year and one day in the Federal Penitentiary of Fort Dix, New Jersey.
Upon my release, I returned to the Beit T' Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center and served on their Rabbinic staff.
In September of 2007, I started Recovery Through Torah. This is a counseling service for members of the Jewish community who are reluctant to join a 12 step community. All counseling is done anonymously by phone. Most of my waking hours are presently spent counseling/encouraging individuals with the teachings of 12 step recovery in addition to the teachings of Judaism.
My sobriety date, by the grace of God, is September 10th, 2000; "One day at a time". I have devoted my life to sharing the promise and hope of recovery to my sisters and brothers who are still out there suffering. The web site is http://www.recoverythroughtorah.com/
My ulterior motive in starting this blog is to share my truth and to respond to the many lies and distortions that are found under my name on the internet. In a sense, the letters and articles that will appear in this blog read almost as if they were my obituaries: Instead, they describe the life that I have been privileged to live thus far.
-Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz
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