The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways

Last Thursday night, a little less than a week before Rosh Hashana (our Jewish New Year), I received an email from Gina. (Read Below)

I spent a rather restless/sleepless night contemplating the content of her email. I share this with you including my response.

It is over eleven years now during which time I was involved with the legal ramifications of my behavior. It is and was important to read of Gina's pain and "disgust" with regard to her former rabbi; me.

I am cogniscent of the ramifications that took place then and obviously that is still carried today.

Tshuvah is not living with remorse for what was. Rather Tshuvah is defined by "doing the next right thing". I strive to do the "next right thing".

Judaism teaches that God forgave the people of Israel for worshipping the Golden Calf by presenting the Israelites with the gift of his Thirteen Attributes of Mercy". God forgave and forgives us for our errors in judgment (our sins). It is up to us to forgive ourselves. It is incumbent upon us to receive the Tshuvah of others and thus to offer them our forgiveness.

I believe that it is impossible to "forgive and forget:" We humans do not have a delete mechanism.  We can however learn to forgive both ourselves and others in the spirit by which God forgives each of us.



PLEASE READ GINA'S EMAIL TO ME AND MY RESPONSE TO HER BELOW-




Rabbi, 

As a former congregant of Bnaih Torah... a former child congregant I am still very upset that you chose to work with kids given your condition. In fact I am disgusted and ever since I have lost a lot of faith in Judaism and have not felt as though my Bat Mitzvah was a holy as it should have been considering you were the one who conducted it.  Couldn't you have worked with adults instead?  I am disgusted but none the less wish you luck with your recovery... Hope you have good holidays and repent for a long time.  

Gina

Hi Gina,

      Thank you very much for your e mail. It is poetic that I read it late last night, just before I went to bed. It allowed me to reflect on my "journey" in life, in preparation for this last Shabbat of the year and these days before Rosh Hashanah.

      Most of my waking hours are spent speaking with my "brothers" and "sisters" in recovery. I work/share exclusively with adults who are struggling with the disease of addiction. My web site is www.recoverythroughtorah.com

      I have profound regret for the disappointment/anger that I brought to you and to countless others.

      Please know, without any excuse or rationalization that my Federal offense consisted of viewing four thumb-nail images of child pornography for a matter of several seconds. I am not minimizing my offense; this "crossed-the-line" and constituted a Federal offense of "possession of child pornography." I have paid my formal debt to society, but the scars remain.

      I devote my life to doing Tshuvah and by living a Twelfth Step through my work with Recovery Through Torah.

      Tshuvah  primarily  consists of two elements; doing Tshuvah and accepting Tshuvah. Accepting ones own Tshuvah; forgiving ones self and accepting  another's Tshuvah; forgiving another.

      I wish you and your family a Shanah Tovah.

     Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz

Response from Gina-

 

Rabbi Mintz, 

Shanah Tovah- I forgive you for the past and wish you luck on your journey. 

Gina 

Testimonial 13- to Yehuda Mintz

To whom it may concern,

I am pleased to write in support of Rabbi Juda Mintz whom you are considering for the position of Senior Rabbi of your Congregation.

 Rabbi Mintz has been gone from our university campus for a number of years now, but those of us who have worked with him will never forget his simply extraordinary energy and vision, and his marvelous spirit which led to not only great  success but also to great affection. That's a unique combination-drive and pastoral sympathy.

We have never had comparable leadership at Hillel here on campus since he left. At that time, he was far and away the most outstanding leader in the religious community on our campus. While I have not had direct knowledge of his achievments in his Congregation, I have heard of its growth and strength under his leadership.

Personally, he is a delight to work with. He does what he says he will do, which points both to his determination and his dedication. He has character and embodies the qualities that win the respect of the larger community.

As you can see, I am very high on him and recommend him to you wholeheartedly.

Sincerely,

President of the university

Testimonial 12- to Juda Mintz

 I want to wish you and your congregation , together with Rabbi Mintz and his family, a sincere Mazel Tov on Rabbi Mintz's installation as rabbi of your community.

Rabbi Mintz has been my dear friend for many years, befriending me when I first arrived in Atlanta. His rabbinate here was a distinguished one. He helped to create the setting and then part of the structure for the tremendous growth in Jewish life that our city has experienced. 

First as rabbi of Hillel on campus, he built almost from scratch, that organization into one of the most vibrant centers of Jewish life for young people in our area. Later, as founding Rabbi of a Congregation. He helped nurture that community into the wonderful center of Jewish study and observance it has become.

As a dear friend, I will miss his wonderful face to face friendship, openness and treasured advice. (Thank G-d there are telephones and e-mail). This city will  miss his rabbinic presence which raised all of us because it was here.

I know that the love he brings to his calling, the sincere belief with which he stands for all things Jewish, his capacity for hard work  and his vision, will be a blessing to all off you, as he has been to all of us.

May G-d bless him, his family and all of you, as together you continue to create and vivify the jewish hope and dream, which has been, since the beginning of written history, G-d's promise and the crown  of our existence.

Sincerely,

Rabbi .....

Testimonial 11- to Rabbi Yehuda Mintz

Testimonial 10- to Rabbi Juda Mintz

To whom it may concern,

Duing the past four years, Rabbi Juda Mintz has served as one of the Rabbis, spiritual leaders and guides for our congregation. He is a Rabbi and teacher of distinction, a role model, respected for his knowledge , his leadership and his humilty.

Rabbi Mintz has always delivered inspirational sermons that were emotionally engaging, informative, educational and provided us with models for living in accordance with jewish laws and traditions.

Because our congregation consists of an aging population, our congregants have had a special set of challenges. Rabbi Mintz responded to these challenges ands was always available and open to the spiritual and emotional needs of the congregants.

His extensive experience and knowledge has been invaluable to us in our daily operations. The Rabbi's combination of talent and superior aptitude along with his willingness to lead can provide exemplary results for any congregation.

In addition to his outstanding qualifications, Rabbi Mintz has developed extensive knowledge in the area of ritual needs and programming. His driving force will surely result in invaluable growth and success for your congregation.

Sincerely,

President of the Congregation

Testimonial 9- to Yehuda Mintz

Testimonial 7 and 8- to Juda Mintz

Testimonial 6- to Rabbi Yehuda Mintz

Testimonial 5 - to Rabbi Juda Mintz

Testimonial 4 - to Yehuda Mintz

From a rabbi, Jewish educator director of a Jewish organization.  Father of 5 children.



Hi Rabbi Mintz,

I wanted to thank you for the incredible help today. When you graciously share the details of your own story, I am moved for the following reason. When one is able to reflect upon the seemingly bleak, almost hopeless circumstances and then articulate the incredible details of how Hashem harnessed all of these cosmic forces to extricate you from your dark place, it is for me both humbling and inspiring.

As I said to you today, after listening to your own story, I am then able to reflect with a little more clarity on my own situation. How much of heaven and earth had and has been moved on my and my families behalf to overcome my own seemingly insurmountable obstacles?

Then I realize that by choosing to anesthetize myself, I am ungratefully turning my back on all these life altering acts of chesed that I have received. the height of ingratitude.

My challenge is to continously embrace these ongoing loving acts of intervention, not numb myself to them. Easier said then done, but a start.

I am most grateful for your sincere concern for me. This loving concern emanates from the soul which is why you were able to transcend space and time to be there for me today at the exact moment I needed help.

When I saw your text message come in my first thought was to ignore it until after I anesthetized myself. However, I realized I had to do my part and the very least, call you back; it was not easy to do as you will see.

Even while speaking to you on the phone today, I was still heading to my original destination. I had made up my mind. Just before your message came, I had written the directions and address on a business card with the exact location.  I could not find it. I looked all over: the front seat, my wallet. I could not find it, but,  nonetheless, continued speaking to you while I decided to drive away from the area and head back home.

When I got home and got out of my car, the business card with the address written on the back fell right off my lap onto the ground. It was right in front of me the entire time.

Did your friend Malach Gavriel have his right hand over my eyes while I searched in vain? I don't know. I would like to think a Malach has more important things to do that to keep me out of trouble.

Or, perhaps you, Rabbi Mintz, had your hands over my eyes.

Thank you again.

Testimonial 3- to Juda Mintz

From a rabbi and Jewish educator. Father of 7 children.

Dear Rabbi Mintz,

It's now about 9 months since we got acquainted and I would like to show you a bit how my life progressed since then and now and to thank you for your part in it.

Around Chanukah time I was feeling overwhelmed by my phone-sex addiction and could find no way out. Even accepting the fact that I was helpless and alone wasn't helping me. I didn't feel there was anyone who could guide me out of it; being tat I had tried before with help yet I was still out of control.

Then I saw your ad about a 12-step program with regard to internet addiction with the assurance of anonymity and figured I'd give it a try.

From our first phone call I knew I had come to the right place. You were able to relate to me and my problem in such a clear and simple way. Knowing that there were others who suffered as I did yet were able to get help, inspired me to try and get help as well. Your use of Torah concepts and your expressions in both Yiddish and Hebrew served as an extra bonus for me; You as a Ben Torah and me as a Rebbe in Yeshiva, I couldn't wait for the real phone appointment.

Once we started, it became clear that the road to recovery was "simple but not easy"! But with you "holding my hand", available 24-7, if need be, I was ready to try to embark upon the road of recovery.

I called you when the going got tough- when "the monster reared its ugly head";I called you when I began smoking again in order to find a substitute for the phone-sex addiction; I called you when I knew that "tommorow" I was going "to use". Yet, you were never flustered. You calmed me, coached me out of each mess and praised me without being presumptious over each battle won. You helped me succeed "one day at a time'.

It was after just 3-4 months when I felt confident in my progress: enough,  that I was able to draw a map of how my future might look-free of the addiction. It depicted the serenity that would be mine and the new repsonsibilities that I would be able to undertake, with the knowledge that I wouldn't be suffering a spiritual, emotional and physical setback every few days or weeks. Indeed, in the following months I was able to be out of this situation.  I quit smoking (5 months clean, my davening and learning have improved, my marriage is on a major up- my wife is happier with me than she had been in many years, my addiciton is in remission now for 23 weeks!, substantially breaking my previous record of sobriety. I am presently working on other areas of my life, my Avodas Hashem with great success, b'chasdey Hashem.

I switched my job for the coming year and have begun working on a new major project for my future career. My children feel the change in me and have been much more loving towards me.

Who would have imagined the degree of damage my addiction caused and the great amount of good I was able to obtain with it now out of the way; I for one could not, but I am presently reveling in the progress of my sobriety.

I want to thank you Rabbi Mintz. Obviouslyl, you are the Shaliach of Hashem to make things happen for me and you carried out your Shlichut wonderfully. You're Chelek in Olam H'Ba is gaurenteed on account of the help that you have given me and the many people you've helped heal- myself most especially.

And now I want to try it on my own. Next week will be our last official meeting for a while. I hope I may drop you a quick line from time to time.

May you continue to have Hatzlacha helping others and may you have a Kativa v' Hatima Tovah.

Very Gratefully yours,

Code #1818

Testimonial 2- to Rabbi Yehuda Mintz

From a client who is a rabbi, and head of a Kiruv (Jewish outreach program). Father of 4 children.


Rabbi Yehuda Mintz saved my life and he doesn't even know my name!
I was a married middle aged Ben Torah working in Klei Kodesh seemingly living an idyllic Torah lifestyle. However I had a major challenge that plagued me day and night. Every two weeks or so I was attached by cravings to act out and no matter what I tried I could not fight these cravings.

I fought for 21 years! (from 16-37)
I begged 2 of my rabbaim in Yeshiva for help.
I reached out to 2 well known Torah leaders.
I tried smoking cigerettes to change my cravings to a "kosher" outlet.
I had a psychologist prescribe calming medications.
I bought a DVD player so I could watch Kosher movies to calm myself.
I made many nedarim and shevous.
Out of desperation I reached out to my wife for help.
Nothing worked...
Sure I had some good months and bad months, sometimes even going 2-4 months at a time with out acting out, however my  issue was always on my mind ready to pounce and it always won out no matter what I tried.

One day I saw an ad in Misphacha magazine that encouraged those with internet addictions to give him a call and see if he could help. Rabbi Mintz explained that what I had was an addiciton and he gave me the tools to overcome it.
This was a bout a year ago.
I feel as if I have awoken from a nightmare.
I can live life again.
I now have a real relationship with my wife, with my kids and with society.
Rabbi Mintz taught me how to have a real relationship with Hashem.
I'm sure that there are many yidden out there like I was who are caught in the vicious cycle of addiction. Please help Rabbi Mintz get the word out that there is a tried and true way to stop. That way is through a relationship with Hashem. Allow Rabbi Mintz to share with them the secret.

-From a very grateful sober husband, father, son and member of the Yeshiva world

Testimonial 1- to Rabbi Juda Mintz

- From a rabbi, prominent head of Kiruv movement (Jewish outreach). Father of 7 children.


Dear Reb Yehuda,

I have experienced a personal Yetzias Mitrayim and am now marching step by step on a journey of a new life.

It is s journey of a new life toward my true self. That's what Teshuva is all about.

My therapist saw my struggles and gave me your ad from Bina magazine. I called and felt comfortable and that you could understand and relate. You show genuine care. intimate understanding of additction, no judgment, and gentle guidance and encouragment.

Your support and guidance were an important part in the network of Hashem's plan to help me.

Yours is a resource that must be utilized to its fullest capacity.

May H' bless you to utilize all your talents and life experiences to help others in their desperation, pull them out and bring about more and more redemption.

With true gratitude,

Beneficiary 12-18.

Why My Blog?

This is new to me. I am far from computer savvy. Ironically, it is the computer that brought me into the world of addiction recovery. It is the computer that dramatically changed my life and it is the computer that introduced me to my present wife.

I was addicted to pornography on the computer. Addiction is a progressive disease. In fairly short order, I was "hooked", I was addicted. On one occasion, 8 thumbnail images appeared on my screen. Cuiously, I opened four of them. Unbeknownst to me of the content, they were images of children; child pornography. Stunned by what I saw, I immediatley deleted the four images and the four other thumbnails.

By the grace of God, just at that time, my computer froze. I was then Rabbi of a synagogue that I began serving 18 months earlier. I asked a member of the congregation who was savvy in computer technology to see if he could remedy the computer malfunction. He agreed, and waited until my day off so that he would not disturb me. He thought it might be a virus and thus went into the hardrive. He then discovered the pornography that I was viewing including the last 4 images of child pornography.
This was in the year 2000, when the issue of pedophilia within the Catholic Church was raging in the news media.

The elders of the congregation made the decision to turn the hardrive over to the FBI in order to protect the synagogue from any possible lawsuits.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation chose to prosecute me on the charge of possession of child pornography. Viewing images on one's computer, is in the eyes of the Federal government, considered "possession". The maximum penalty is a fine of $250,000.00 and five years imprisonment. 

I immediately went into a program of 12 step recovery with SA, Sexaholics Anonymous. I attended a minimum of five meetings a week. 4 months later, I entered Keystone Sexual Recovery Facility in Pennsylvania.

As my case proceeded within the Federal court system, I moved to Los Angeles, California and was a resident of Beit T'Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center for a period of 14 months.

I entered a plea of guilty and was sentenced to one year and one day in the Federal Penitentiary of Fort Dix, New Jersey.

Upon my release, I returned to the Beit T' Shuvah Recovery and Treatment Center and served on their Rabbinic staff.

In September of 2007, I started Recovery Through Torah. This is a counseling service for members of the Jewish community who are reluctant to join a 12 step community. All counseling is done anonymously by phone. Most of my waking hours are presently spent counseling/encouraging individuals with the teachings of 12 step recovery in addition to the teachings of Judaism.

My sobriety date, by the grace of God, is September 10th, 2000; "One day at a time". I have devoted my life to sharing the promise and hope of recovery to my sisters and brothers who are still out there suffering. The web site is http://www.recoverythroughtorah.com/ 

My ulterior motive in starting this blog is to share my truth and to respond to the many lies and distortions that are found under my name on the internet.  In a sense, the letters and articles that will appear in this blog read almost as if they were my obituaries: Instead, they describe the life that I have been privileged to live thus far.

-Rabbi Juda/Yehuda Mintz